To Whom it May Concern
by She-Goes-Left
Summary: A series of notes involving overcapitalisation, underlining and excessive punctuation. And sprinkles.


A/N: I don't think they actually have a break room at NCIS, what with all the coffee runs Gibbs goes on and all.  
Someone should really talk to the Workers union about that.

* * *

**Monday  
11:45AM  
Break room wall**

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN  
(AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE)

THIS BREAK ROOM IS DISGUSTING. DISGUSTING. I CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS IS A FEDERAL AGENCY WHERE PEOPLE LIVE LIKE PIGS. DO YOU WANT THE TERRORISTS TO WIN?

A FEW NOTES ON HOW WE CAN IMPROVE OUR CLEANLINESS HERE:

1) BE CONSIDERATE. DO NOT LEAVE PLATES WITH ONE CORNER OF TOAST. WE CAN NOT SEND TOAST TO AFRICA TO FEED THE STARVING, SO PLEASE EAT ALL THE TOAST OR THROW THE LAST CORNER AWAY!

2) TO WHOMEVER IS HEATING UP CURRY IN THE MICROWAVE: PLEASE WAIT UNTIL EVERYONE ELSE HAS GONE, AS EVERYTHING AFTER TASTES LIKE CURRY AND THIS MAKE IT TASTE FUNNY!

3) PLEASE PUT YOUR NAME ON THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, OTHERWISE IT WILL BE THROWN OUT! DO NOT GET ANGRY AT ME THIS IS YOUR OWN FAULT IF YOU CANT LABEL!

4) ALSO, SOMEONE HAS BEEN LEAVING SPRINKLES ON THE BENCHTOP. PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS. PLEASE EAT THE SPRINKLES.

YOU'RE MOTHER DOESN'T WORK HERE, SO CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF! KEEP THIS A NICE AND FRIENDLY WORK ENVIRONMENT!

XOXO

* * *

**Monday  
3:34PM  
Break room wall**

LEAVING A CUP WITH TOAST CORNERS TITLED 'STARVING AFRICAN DONATION' IS NOT AT ALL AMUSING.

ALSO, THERE WERE STILL SPRINKLES HERE THIS AFTERNOON (FOUR – TWO LILAC, ONE WHITE, ONE YELLOW) UNDERNEATH THE MICROWAVE. PLEASE CLEAN UPPROPERLY.

JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE CALLED SPRINKLES DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD.

XOXO

* * *

**[Second note attached – time unknown]**

_McGee,_

_Why don't you eat the sprinkles?_

_Love Tony_

* * *

**Tuesday  
10:00AM  
Break Room**

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN (AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE):

WHY MUST YOU EAT YOUR DONUT LIKE A CHILD? THE SPRINKLES DESERVE TO BE WITH THEIR DONUT!

TO OTHERS, THERE ARE CURRENTLY FOUR MUGS AND ELEVEN SPOONS MISSING. THEY DIDN'T WANDER OFF BY THEMSELVES, DID THEY? DO THE RIGHT THING!

XOXO

* * *

**Tuesday  
11:25AM  
TO: [[ Anthony DiNozzo INBOX ]]**

Hey Tony,

While I'm flattered you assume I know all the other "clean freaks" in the building, I can't say I recognise the wording of the note. Have you tried Human Resources?

Nikki

* * *

**Wednesday  
11:01 AM  
Agent McGee's Computer**

I FOUND A SPRINKLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SQUADROOM. JUST LETTING YOU KNOW THAT CLEANLINESS SHOULD NOT APPLY JUST TO THE BREAKROOM!

XOXO

* * *

**Wednesday  
2:30PM  
Agent DiNozzo's keyboard; Agent David's Computer screen; Agent McGee's Computer Screen.**

TO TEAM GIBBS (AND I KNOW IT WAS YOU)

LEAVING A PILE OF SPRINKLES IN THE SHAPE OF THE WORD "SPRINKLES!" ALL ACROSS THE BREAKROOM FLOOR IS NOT THE ADULT WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS. PLEASE DO THE RIGHT THING!

AND I KNOW OTHERS ARE ANGRY AT YOUR OVERUTILISATION OF THE CAFPOW MACHINE. PLEASE ONLY USE ONCE PER DAY PER PERSON (AND THAT INCLUDES BUYING FOR OTHERS) AS INSTRUCTED IN THE NCIS HANDBOOK (PG. 53) AND LEAVE SOME FOR OTHERS =) =)

XOXO

* * *

**Wednesday  
5:46PM  
Breakroom wall**

_Let it be known that Team Gibbs does not respond to passive aggressive notes._

_Please file all complaints you may have via Agent David in person.  
Be courteous and do so when the rest of Team Gibbs is present to watch._

_Team Gibbs_

* * *

**Thursday  
8:00AM  
Office memo to: all staff**

We've been notified that the Caf!Pow machine has been overheating due to overuse, and to combat this maintenance has moved the machine up to the fifth floor where there is better air conditioning. We apologise for the inconvenience as we know it is quite far from the elevator, but we hope that you would prefer a working machine.

The Janitorial Staff

* * *

**Thursday  
12:21PM  
Elevator wall; Break room; Vance's Office Door; MTAC door; **

**Forensic Lab; Autopsy (Drawers 11, 48, 108); **

**Squadroom walls of Team Goh, Team Gibbs; above photocopier.**

CAF POW FUND!

Please help keep our very overworked forensic specialist in cafpows as she is unable  
to lose precious science doing time making the trek to the fifth floor.

All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth  
All work and no sugar makes Abby a dull Goth

See Agent DiNozzo if you want to donate time and/or money.  
If you don't have either, she will also accept hugs.

If you find any lost sprinkles, please return to Agent McGee.

* * *

**Thursday  
2:32PM  
Office memo to: all staff**

We have been notified by a concerned member of staff that the vending machines do not have the requisite three healthy snacks as specified by regulations. As such, we are sorry to inform you that: **3 musketeers, Nutter Butters** and **Milky Ways** will no longer be available from August 19th to make room for the new healthy snack options.

On the up side, further advice from staff has led to the introduction of a limited range of baked goods and coffee making utensils being provided on site; excursions to outside venues are no longer necessary.

Regards,  
Human Resources

* * *

**Thursday  
2:45PM  
Squadroom, Elevator wall**

We all go a little mad sometimes

But just letting you know:  
Agent McGee no longer has access to Nutter Butters or donuts  
Agent David is currently deprived of whipped dolphin fat  
Agent Gibbs will now be functioning on decaf.

**For the love of God  
!PROCEED WITH CAUTION!**

* * *

**Thursday  
3:01PM  
Door of Forensic Lab**

=( =( =( Abandon hope, ye who enter here. =( =( =(

* * *

**Thursday  
9:06PM  
Agent Wallis's computer; Agent Kumar's computer**

_Anyone want to swap teams? =(_

_Tony_

* * *

**Friday  
8:45 AM  
TO: [[ALL STAFF/Washington INBOX]]  
**

To all staff:

It came to my attention yesterday while attempting to exit my office that there seems to be a war of words going on. Fortunately the annual seminar on Correct Office Intercommunication is next week, so I can safely assume that this behaviour will stop soon.

Please note that attendance is now mandatory.

The Director

* * *

**Friday  
9:00AM  
Office memo to: All staff**

Under orders of the Director, all changes by janitorial staff during this week have been returned to their previous incarnations. Sorry about that, folks!

The Janitorial Staff.

* * *

**Friday  
11:45AM  
Cover of assorted donut box in break room.**

FREE DONUTS FOR GREAT VICTORY!

_[All Caf!Pow funds now donated to WorldVision._  
_Any additional funds will be given to the Janitorial Staff_

_All Sprinkles donated to Agent McGee]_


End file.
